Can you make a difference?
The sixth largest economy in the world, that we call California, is in flames. This time southern California. At the end of summer, it was the Northern part of the state.
Hurricane names have used up half the alphabet in 2017 alone and Puerto Rico and six other Islands have been devastated by flooding and the aftermath of these giant storms.
I have lost count of the number victims of mass shootings in Las Vegas, Florida, and a church in Texas.
Then you have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) that happens when the days get short and people don’t get enough sunlight. It also causes vitamin-D deficiency and depression.
On top of that, we have the expectations of the holiday season and if you’ve just gone through a breakup or divorce, all these things are compounded exponentially.
There have been so many natural and man-made disasters that Facebook has developed a way for users to report themselves as safe.
What do we do if you are drowning in sadness? If our internal electricity is on the fritz? If we are lonely? Alone? Isolated?
Happiness as a choice
For many of us it’s a choice. I’m not talking about grief or loss of a loved one – grieving is on its own timeline. I’m talking about a personal disaster of some kind getting you stuck and staying stuck in that place of pain and recrimination.
And if you chose not to wallow in sadness indefinitely, It is all about getting unstuck.
Emotional pain is a human condition and finding little pieces of happiness every day is the way to move forward as a human being.
Divorce is a big huge bag of pain. Even if it was your idea. (Tweet it!)
It should make it easier, but it doesn’t necessarily make it less painful.
Being happy is about protecting ourselves from too much ugliness. Not a “burying your head in the sand” kind of protection, but not internalizing every-single-thing that happens in the world.
No need to bathe in sadness. Wear happiness or joy as a shield of sorts.
I used to watch the nightly news, read a daily newspaper, pick up a news magazine weekly. I was constantly and continually updating myself on current events and cultural happenings.
In our information saturated world, so much of the news out now is gossip. Regurgitating and revealing every minute detail about people that should be private and certainly not front page fodder.
I’m not talking about the recent deluge of sexual misconduct allegations. That is news and as a “me too” person myself, a long overdue reckoning.
Or the news about refugees fleeing their home countries all over the world. Regular people, risking their own safety and their lives to try to find a better life for themselves and their families. That is reporting on the human condition is monumentally important.
I am talking about Hollywood, pop culture that shows the “have-nots” how much “the haves” have. These details do nothing to improve our lives. They are like junk food for your brain.
Choosing happiness is a mindset shift
Instead of watching the freak-show, try to do something positive to impact the world around you.
We only get 24 hours a day. Use them wisely. Be protective of your time. I just spent 12 minutes watching the lecture of a woman I respect and admire.
So this Holiday season, don’t get sucked into things that don’t matter. How about spending time with people who fill you up emotionally?
If you have an hour, educate yourself on something that is important to you. Find out what’s really going on in Yemen. Help build a well in Africa. Make sure every child has a meal at lunchtime in your own community.
Have you considered volunteering your time to a worthy cause? Clean out a drawer and donate to someone less fortunate. It’s almost impossible not fret about the state of the world. But you, with one charitable act, can make a difference.
When the hurricane hit Houston, a woman on social media was soliciting for a charity to buy those people who lost their homes new underwear. No, I am not kidding. To lose everything all at once? And flee your home and not even have a pair of underwear to your name?
I followed the directions and picked out packages of little boys and little girls underwear (on Amazon) and it was all anonymous.
And you know, it made me feel a little better knowing that some little kids in Houston had Superman and Wonder Woman underwear to start their day on the first day of their new reality.
So this next couple weeks, when the luckier people in the world will be celebrating holidays, celebrate yourself for the new life you have chosen or been given or pushed into after your divorce. Look for the little things that make you happy. Treat yourself as you would a cherished loved one. Use your time wisely and be kind to yourself.
And whenever and wherever you can – choose happiness. When you wish people Happy New Year, mean it.
