Exercise and Environment: Overcoming Insomnia After a Loved One Passes | Tamara Mendelson

The following blog post is a guest blog post by Sara Bailey, founder of Thewidow.net
“If you’ve suffered the loss of someone close to you, you know how profoundly impactful such a loss can be. You also know it takes time to heal, time to regain your strength and the will to carry on. One of the best ways to regain physical and mental strength is to get the sleep you need, at least 7 to 9 hours a night, which is far easier said than done when you’re bereaved.

Insomnia is frequently a symptom of grief, and overcoming it can be extremely difficult because you’re coping with tremendous feelings of loss, isolation, depression and even guilt. Overcoming insomnia can be difficult, but there are techniques that can help relax the body and keep your mind from racing.

Exercise

One of the best ways to get to sleep at night is to do plenty of exercise during the day. The idea is to tire yourself out so sleep is inevitable, and you can get back into a normal pattern of sleeping and waking. Take care not to overdo it and risk injury. It doesn’t make sense to start doing exercises you’ve never tried before, so stick with walking or hiking to get your heartbeat up and get plenty of sunlight, which will help restore a natural sleep pattern. Try to get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day, but avoid doing so after 7 p.m. and avoid caffeine and other stimulants at night.

Establish a sleep-conducive space

Make sure your bedroom is only used for sleep and storing your clothes. If you’re accustomed to watching television in the bedroom, consider removing it and any other electronic devices with screens, which emit a form of blue light that will trick the brain into thinking it’s daylight and time to get up. Clear out the clutter, remove any objects that exacerbate your depression, and make sure the space is completely dark with a temperature setting of no higher than 68 degrees. Add some scented candles (nothing too overpowering, though), and consider repainting the walls a soothing pastel or earth tone shade (stay away from bright red and sunshine yellow) to give you a fresh start in a room you shared with a loved one for years.

Bodywork

If you need to find a way to relax your body, consider getting a massage on a regular basis or learning yoga, a mental/physical discipline that relaxes the muscles and makes a healing mind-body connection. Some people overcome sleep deprivation through acupuncture, an ancient therapy that uses tiny needles to stimulate nerves and relax muscles.

Wind-down time

One of the mistakes insomniacs often make is to hop right in bed and expect to fall asleep. This haphazard approach often makes the situation worse, and you may lie there staring at the ceiling wondering why sleep doesn’t come. Instead, take a different approach… Start winding down about a half-hour before bedtime by doing some deep-breathing exercises or meditation – some sort of activity that helps calm your thoughts and allows tightened muscles to start unkinking.

Remember, the idea is to avoid tossing and turning at all costs. Some people have success taking a hot bath or shower before going to bed, which elevates the heart rate and then slows it down after you get out and start cooling off.

Good gadgets

There are a number of ways technology can help you get to sleep. For less than $20, you can get an LED Sleep-Enhancing Light, or find a Dodow, a metronome with a light system that makes you sleepy, for about $60. There are many kinds of therapeutic pillows that enhance your comfort as well. Avoid leaving the TV on all night thinking the background noise will do the trick – it’s much more likely to keep you awake.

Sleep deprivation is a common response to grief. Your mind has a lot to process, and it takes time to find effective coping strategies. Exercise and a healthy sleep environment are your best assets during this difficult time and can help you wind down in a natural way.”

Be kind to yourself.

Now over to you: Have you ever suffered from sleep deprivation due to grief?

And if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.

Coaching with Tamara Mendelson

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