In the last month, I have spent a great deal of time with some very special teenagers in my life. Overall, I have found them to be smart, connected, and highly intelligent. And at the same time an anxious, depressed, and confused bunch. Unlike times past, they may have fewer outlets to vent their frustrations. And fewer real people to talk to who are not themselves, also part of this anxious, depressed, and confused bunch.
I was also surprised to learn that this intensely savvy group may be very adept in using and understanding technology but are little stuck on the basic life skills side of things. They don’t have the slightest idea what they want and if they do know what they want they are not all that clear on how to go about getting it.
FOMO is a real thing
Many studies have shown that having a smartphone in your hand all the time can cause anxiety. A medically recognized condition that is a real deep fear of missing out (FOMO) or an actual physical addition to the constant buzzing, bells, and chimes.
It’s very hard to discuss problems in 60 characters or less. And if they wanted to seek some help or counseling there is a huge stigma against doing so. Many feel that to need help, any kind of mental health help, means that there is something wrong with them. They don’t consider being in pain or confusion as something someone with some life experience might be able to help them with. And as I’ve mentioned before, human interaction can save your life!
Coaching with Tamara Mendelson
Are you struggling through an unexpected life change? I’m now taking applications for 2019 Coaching and I’d love to hear from you! Sign up below to receive my coaching application form straight to your inbox.
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They react to everything. Their concentration is challenged in every way possible. And don’t forget the raging hormones, peer pressure, and trying to please into the mix.
So what can we do to help these young people?
Here are 5 survival strategies for you and your teenager:
1. The only thing that you can control is how you react to things that happen to you or around you.
There can be a lot of negative energy emulating from a teenage mouth. Trust me, it’s not about you. It’s about an inability to control feelings. Ignore and opt to chat at a calmer time. Perspective comes with time and thought.
2. Check in with your body a couple of times a day
Am I hungry, thirsty, tired, feeling safe and secure and loved? That’s a lot of things to check but it’s very hard to make any kind of good decision if you are hungry, thirsty, or tired. Not to mention cared for and safe. And if you aren’t feeling good for any of these reasons, what then? You take care of the ones you can and get some help with the ones you need assistance with.
3. Bullet Journaling.
Suggest that your teenager writes about how they are feeling. This is a tested stress reliever and can clarify how they are feeling to see it written out on the page, phone, or computer. Not everyone is a novelist. A blank journal page can be extra pressure for some. You do not want to make the act of journaling another thing on your to-do list. Make it an option. It’s a good stress reliever for us parents as well.
4. Is something bad happening or not?
With most of us, our primitive brain jumps in at the first sign of stress and tries to keep us safe by pumping some adrenaline and getting us to run. Problem is most of the time we and our teenagers are in no real danger and all that surging can leave us all exhausted and more anxious than when we started. Ask yourself and your teenager “is anything really bad happening here?” If the answer is no, then repeat to yourself three times, nothing bad is happening.
5. Seek Help.
Everyone needs someone neutral and nonjudgmental to talk things over with. Parents can be great resources. We were all young once. But our own children are probably less likely to take our advice. Perhaps suggest someone outside who can listen with some perspective. It is completely natural to want to check in with someone, to help make a decision or solve a problem.
Sometimes just talking about things can make anyone feel better.(Tweet it!)
And no one needs to know if you or your teenager is seeking some help, encouragement, or information.
Coaching with Tamara Mendelson
Are you struggling through an unexpected life change? I’m now taking applications for 2019 Coaching and I’d love to hear from you! Sign up below to receive my coaching application form straight to your inbox.
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The most important thing is that you have the resources to make better decisions and feel better about yourself and your emotional teen.
Be kind to yourselves.
Now over to you: What do you do to make sure your teenager(s) are living a happy stress-free life?